Important question...men only

[telebob x]

Don't you remember Eldridge Cleaver's famous stint as a clothing designer? 
He designed a pair of pants with a penis tube dangling on the front where 
the fly usually is?  Perhaps this is the genesis?




>From: "Wayne Johnson" <cadaobh2@brgnet.com>
>To: <austin-ghetto-list@pairlist.net>
>Subject: Important question...men only
>Date: Sat, 27 Oct 2001 20:20:16 -0400
>
>From the web, the following:
>
>"First we must ask the question, why should a man wear a penis sheath?
>
>                    Protection? Then why leave so much of the body naked 
>and
>unprotected.
>                    Granted that is a very sensitive place. But, would a
>sheath made from a
>                    vegetable shell give that much protection? Also, other
>tribesmen seem to
>                    go about with no penis sheaths. Why, it must also be
>asked, would a gourd
>                    two feet long be needed when a much smaller gourd may 
>be
>a bit more
>                    accomodating? Some have suggested it may be a shame
>covering. I once
>                    was in New Guinea.(This sounds like a lymric eh?) And I
>propositioned a
>                    man for his penis sheath. He turned around and affixed
>another sheath
>                    before he gave me the one he had been wearing. I think
>it's just a cool
>                    thing one can do with their penis and a gourd. It looks
>pretty damn cool.
>                    Ladies and Gentlemen, you must admit, if someone walked
>into a room
>                    wearing a penis sheath, you'd be checkin' it out. Hell
>yes! Because it's cool
>                    to walk around with things on yer "Johnson". (has 
>anyone
>seen those trucks
>                    driving around town with "Johnson Controls" painted on
>the side?)
>
>                    For centuries men in South America, Africa and New 
>Guinea
>have been
>                    sheathing their penis's with gourds. These 
>Phallocrypt's
>have run the gamut
>                    though, ranging from bamboo tubes, horns, coconuts,
>ivory, wood, shells,
>                    leather, grass or other leaves, nets and cocoons to the
>more recent
>                    flauntings of toothpaste containers, Kodak film cans 
>and
>even sardine tins.
>                    Yikes! No matter the reason, Gourds make an attractive
>covering for a
>                    man's bitness. So next time yer wondering what to get 
>the
>man who has
>                    everything or even the man who has nothing, think
>penis----penis
>                    sheath----think gourd. "
>
>*************
>
>As an avid studier and student of various tribal function around the world,
>it is very clear, especially during these troubled times, that the issue of
>male penile coverings is one which demands immediate consideration.
>American men...and possibly Saudi/Egyptian/et al men...should consider 
>these
>not as being merely "fashion statements" but a necessary addition to both
>wardrobe and personal hygiene.
>
>Therefore, in order to help President Bush in his public pleading for
>everyone pitching in and helping our economy GROW, I have formed a new
>business which specializes in this equipment.  Naturally, the use of
>"organics" is inappropriate for several reasons: one) too unreliable during
>winter months; two) too difficult to clean and prepare; three) limited
>planting space in our garden.  In keeping with the desire to support local
>business and industry, these sheaths are made from 100% man made materials.
>Currently, we are offering three versions, as follows.
>
>1.     The Plumber.  This charming model is fashioned from good old 
>reliable
>PVC.  It comes in basic white which means it can be worn with just about
>anything!  (Maybe even nothing!)  The PVC can be painted in one of your
>favorite colors or festooned in red and blue ribbons making you one BIG
>PATRIOT.   And, of course, for those formal occasions, basic Black.  These
>are factory determined colors and guaranteed not to, er, run.   Length
>limited to four feet, no restrictions on diameter.
>
>2.    The Warrior.  When you wear this five foot, 6" diameter, stainless
>steel sheath, no one is going to mess with you!  It comes with a
>fast-locking mechanism and may be equipped at little extra expense with a
>number of useful accessories, such as 9mm portals, short-wave radio and, so
>you always "know where you are" a 200kw GPS.  Currently, our most Macho
>version (we call it Big Mike...or maybe it was the Big Mack) has heavily
>embossed tread pattern all around and battery operated running lights.  
>Your
>lady friends will certainly want to know more about you when you walk into
>the local bar packing this load!
>
>3.    The Diplomat.  For those with more discerning taste and with the
>income to support it, we have the Diplomat.  Naturally, it is completely
>adjustable!  The Diplomat, or Big Brit, as we often call it, is fashioned
>from full chroma. Uroboros Streamer glass.  It comes in crystal clear, sky
>blue, golden rod and Wispy White Opal.  You will definitely be the talk of
>the town when you arrive at the opera sporting a gleaming new Diplomat.  We
>use only the finest silver solder and all mounting brackets are velveteen
>lined for your comfort!
>
>Our R&D department is busily at work trying new models, including one with 
>a
>small micro-wave oven.  It should be noted that there are some design
>related issues that we...and our corporate attorneys...are wrestling with.
>We are not too proud to admit there have been some problems with Beta
>testing our latest Diplomat model.  The quick release mechanism has been
>completely re-engineered and is now provided by a new, more detail oriented
>vendor.  For the time being, however, we are advising users to be 
>especially
>careful when wearing and driving.  (Most steering wheels have adjustable
>heights, sadly for one of our customers, he locked his Diplomat in and 
>tried
>to make a U turn on North Royal.  He is no longer in the ICU and thank all
>of you for your cards and letters.)
>
>Freddie $mith
>CEO
>PSIndustries


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