Fwd: FW: BLACKROCK99 off topic - Re: Fwd: McDonnell Douglas Warrenty Card
telebob x
telebob@hotmail.com
Mon, 27 Jan 2003 11:21:02 -0600
----Original Message Follows----
From: kittyultrasound@kittyultrasound.com
To: telebob@hotmail.com
Subject: FW: BLACKROCK99 off topic - Re: Fwd: McDonnell Douglas Warrenty
Card
Date: Sun, 26 Jan 2003 13:44:13 -0600
------------------------------------------------
On Sun, 26 Jan 2003 10:58:06 -0800, lucio <lucio@kingtone.com> wrote:
off topic. this is good
>
>
>Subject: McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card
>Date: Fri, 24 Jan 2003 23:30:45 -0500
>
>This was posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas Website by an
>employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of
>course, does not have a sense of humor, and made the web department
>take it down immediately (for once, the "IMPORTANT" note at the end
>is worth a read
>
>
>
>Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In
>order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to
>fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey
>questions is not required, but the information will help us to
>develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
>
>1. Salutation
> [_] Mr.
> [_] Mrs.
> [_] Ms.
> [_] Miss
> [_] Lt.
> [_] Gen.
> [_] Comrade
> [_] Exalted
> [_] Classified
> [_] Other
>
>First Name: ............................ Initial: ........ Last
>Name: ..................................
>Password: ........................ (max. 8 char)
>Code Name:
.................................................................
>Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: .....................................
>
>2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
> [_] F-14 Tomcat
> [_] F-15 Eagle
> [_] F-16 Falcon
> [_] F-117A Stealth
> [_] Classified
>
>3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 20......./....... /......
>
>4. Serial Number: .............................................
>
>5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
> [_] Received as gift / aid package
> [_] Catalogue / showroom
> [_] Independent arms broker
> [_] Mail order
> [_] Discount store
> [_] Government surplus
> [_] Shop-At-Home Network
> [_] Classified
> [_] eBay
>
>6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
>product you have just purchased:
> [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
> [_] Store display
> [_] Espionage
> [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
> [_] Late night cable TV advertising / infomercial
> [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
> [_] Was attacked by one
>
>7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your
>decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
> [_] Style / appearance
> [_] Speed / maneuverability
> [_] Price / value
> [_] Comfort / convenience
> [_] Kickback / bribe
> [_] Recommended by salesperson
> [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
> [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
> [_] Backroom politics
> [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>
>8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
> [_] North America
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Aircraft carrier
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Europe
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Africa
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Asia / Far East
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Misc. Third World countries
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Classified
> [_] Iraq
>
>9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to
>purchase in the near future:
> [_] Color TV
> [_] VCR
> [_] ICBM
> [_] Killer Satellite
> [_] CD Player
> [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
> [_] Space Shuttle
> [_] Home Computer
> [_] Nuclear Weapon
>
>10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Indicate
>all that apply)
> [_] Communist / Socialist
> [_] Terrorist
> [_] Crazed
> [_] Neutral
> [_] Democratic
> [_] Dictatorship
> [_] Corrupt
> [_] Primitive / Tribal
>
>11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
> [_] Deficit spending
> [_] Cash
> [_] Suitcases of cocaine
> [_] Oil revenues
> [_] Personal check
> [_] Credit card
> [_] Ransom money
> [_] Traveler's check
>
>12. Your occupation:
> [_] Homemaker
> [_] Sales / marketing
> [_] Revolutionary
> [_] Clerical
> [_] Mercenary
> [_] Tyrant
> [_] Middle management
> [_] Eccentric billionaire
> [_] Defense Minister / General
> [_] Retired
> [_] Student
>
>13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the
>interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
>participating on a regular basis:
> [_] Golf
> [_] Boating / sailing
> [_] Sabotage
> [_] Running / jogging
> [_] Propaganda / misinformation
> [_] Destabilization / overthrow
> [_] Default on loans
> [_] Gardening
> [_] Crafts
> [_] Black market / smuggling
> [_] Collectibles / collections
> [_] Watching sports on TV
> [_] Wines
> [_] Interrogation / torture
> [_] Household pets
> [_] Crushing rebellions
> [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
> [_] Fashion clothing
> [_] Border disputes
> [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
>
>Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
>answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
>Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to
>receive mailings and special offers from other companies,
>governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus
>for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand
>new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
>
>Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
>
>McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing Department
>Military, Aerospace Division
>
>IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual
>addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is
>confidential privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons
>with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious
>beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination,
>distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either
>explicitly or implicitly) and
>constitutes an irritating social faux pas.
>
>Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context
>somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or
>no grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in
>the transmission of this email, although the kelpie next door is
>living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an
>overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that
>there is no hidden message revealed by reading this backwards, so
>just ignore that Alert Notice
>from Microsoft.
>
>However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and
>your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets.
>If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and
>egg whites, whisk, and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.
--
Lucio Menegon
guitarist / producer / music enthusiast.
"It's the artist's obligation to convert one's experience of the time
that we're living into forms of expression. Otherwise, what are you
doing?"
http://www.kingtone.com/
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