Oh those hs students of today

[Jon Ford]

Hey, some of these are not bad, like "Even in his last years, Grandpappy had 
a mind like a steel trap,
only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut." I've used some 
of these on my students in Cupertino, and they were impressed with the 
creativity in some on the list-- however, most agreed that "
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like whatever" showed a clear defect in the 
imaginative process.

Jon


>From: Frances Morey <frances_morey@yahoo.com>
>To: austin-ghetto-list@pairlist.net
>Subject: Oh those hs students of today
>Date: Tue, 20 May 2003 15:02:40 -0700 (PDT)
>
><neolith@swbell.net>
>Sent: Friday, May 16, 2003 8:20 PM
>Subject: Actual Metaphors from High School Essays
>
>
> > Actual Analogies and Metaphors Found in High School Essays
> >
> >
> >
> > 1.) Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other
>sides
> >
> > gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
> >
> >
> >
> > 2.) His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances
>like
> >
> > underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
> >
> >
> >
> > 3.) He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience, like a
>guy
>who
> >
> > went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
>boxes
> >
> > with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high
> >
> > schools about the dangers of looking at solar eclipse without one
>those
> >
> > boxes with a pinhole in it.
> >
> >
> >
> > 4.) She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room
> >
> > temperature Canadian beef .
> >
> >
> >
> > 5.) She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog
>makes
> > just
> >
> > before it throws up.
> >
> >
> >
> > 6.) Her vocabulary was as bad as, like whatever.
> >
> >
> >
> > 7.) He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
> >
> >
> >
> > 8.) The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
>because
> >
> > of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a
> >
> > formally surcharge-free ATM.
> >
> >
> >
> > 9.) The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
> > bowling
> >
> > ball wouldn't.
> >
> >
> >
> > 10.) McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag
>filled
> >
> > with vegetable soup.
> >
> >
> >
> > 11.) From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an
>eerie,
> >
> > surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
>Jeopardy
> >
> > comes on at 7:00 pm instead of 7:30.
> >
> >
> >
> > 12.) Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
> >
> >
> >
> > 13.) The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when
>you
> >
> > fry them in hot grease.
> >
> >
> >
> > 14.) Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced
>across
>the
> >
> > grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
>left
> >
> > Cleveland at 6:36 pm traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at
>4:19
> >
> > pm at a speed of 35 mph.
> >
> >
> >
> > 15.) They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
>that
> >
> > resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
> >
> >
> >
> > 16.) John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who
>had
> >
> > also never met.
> >
> >
> >
> > 17.) He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was
>the
> > East
> >
> > River.
> >
> >
> >
> > 18.) Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap,
>only
> >
> > one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
> >
> >
> >
> > 19.) Shots rang out, as shots are known to do.
> >
> >
> >
> > 20.) The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike
>Phil,
> > this
> >
> > plan just might work.
> >
> >
> >
> > 21.) The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
> >
> > eating for a while.
> >
> >
> >
> > 22.) He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck,
>either, but
> > a
> >
> > real duck that was actually lame - - maybe from stepping on a land
>mine or
> >
> > something.
> >
> >
> >
> > 23.) The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender
>leg
> >
> > behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
> >
> >
> >
> > 24.) It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around
>with
> >
> > power tools.
> >
> >
> >
> > 25.) He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard
>bells, as
> > if
> >
> > she were a garbage truck backing up.
> >
> >
> >
> > 26.) She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.
> >
> >
> >
> > 27.) She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
> >
> >
> >
> > 28.) Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a generation
>thermal
> >
> > paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.
> >
> >
> >
> > 29.) It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple
>it to
> >
> > the wall.
> >
> >
> >
> >
>
>
>
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