Plane talk - aviation yux
Wayne Johnson
austin-ghetto-list@pairlist.net
Sat Jun 5 10:52:18 2004
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Yes!!!
wj
----- Original Message -----=20
From: Byron Black=20
To: austin-ghetto-list@pairlist.net=20
Sent: Friday, June 04, 2004 7:50 PM
Subject: Plane talk - aviation yux
B-52s saw their first active duty in Viet Nam. They are now older =
than some of the crews that fly them out of Diego Garcia and other =
places. BUFFs they are called. Big Ugly Fat Fellows. Incredibly piece =
of machinery. Right in there with the top multi-engine designs of all =
time. =20
[Pilot humor is priceless:
There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority =
landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit =
peaked."
Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two =
behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
=20
"Ah," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine approach."]
[Here's some more, from an 'Aviation Jokes' file I've put together:
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While =
attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your =
last known position?"=20
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
=20
=20
Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around and =
returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.=20
A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the =
problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," =
explained the flight attendant," and it took us a while to find a new =
pilot."
=20
"Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." "But =
Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"=20
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are a short-tempered =
lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location but =
how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some =
amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange =
between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747 (call sign =
"Speedbird 206") after landing:
Speedbird 206: "Top of the morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of =
the active runway."
Ground: "Guten Morgen! You will taxi to your gate!"
The big British Airways 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed =
to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by a moment ground, I'm looking up our gate =
location now."
Ground: "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?!?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, I have, in 1944. In another type of =
Boeing, but I didn't stop."
=20
Subject: For Those that Fly=20
=20
Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned =
around and=20
returned to the gate. After a hour-long wait, it finally took off.=20
A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the =
problem?"=20
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," =
explained the=20
flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot."=20
Cessna: "Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of =
fuel."=20
Tower: "Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!! Do you =
have the airfield in sight?!?!!"=20
Cessna: "Uh...tower, I am on the South ramp; I just want to know =
where the=20
fuel truck is."=20
A man telephoned an airline office in New York and asked, "How long =
does=20
it take to fly to Boston?"=20
The clerk said, "Just a minute."=20
"Thank you," the man said and hung up.=20
A man walks up to the counter at the airport. "Can I help you?" asks =
the=20
agent. "I want a round trip ticket," says the man. "Where to?" asks =
the=20
agent. "Right back to here."=20
A passenger piled his cases on the scale at an airline counter in =
New York=20
and said to the clerk, "I'm flying to Los Angeles. I want the square =
case=20
to go to Denver and the two round ones to go to Seattle."=20
"I'm sorry, sir, but we can't do that."=20
"Why not? You did it last time!"=20
"Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."=20
"But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up =
here?"=20
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?" =
=20
In his book, Sled Driver, SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul writes: =
"I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day as =
Walt (my back-seater) and I were screaming across Southern California 13 =
miles high. We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other =
aircraft as we entered Los Angeles airspace. Though they didn't really =
control us, they did monitor our movement across their scope. I heard a =
Cessna ask for a readout of its ground speed. "90 knots" Center replied. =
"Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same." "120 knots," Center =
answered.=20
=20
We weren't the only ones proud of our ground speed that day as =
almost instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, 'Ah, Center, Dusty 52 =
requests ground speed readout.' There was a slight pause, then the =
response, "525 knots on the ground, Dusty."
"Another silent pause. As I was thinking to myself how ripe a =
situation this was, I heard a familiar click of a radio transmission =
coming from my back-seater. It was at that precise moment I realized =
Walt and I had become a real crew, for we were both thinking in unison." =
"Center, Aspen 20, you got a ground speed readout for us?" There was a =
longer than normal pause .... "Aspen, I show 1,742 knots"
No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.
=20
=20
In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving =
a request for clearance to FL 60 (60,000ft). The incredulous controller, =
with some disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you plan to get up to =
60,000 feet?
The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded, "We don't plan to go =
up to it, we plan to go down to it." He was cleared.
=20
=20
The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He =
placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator, =
"Do you know what I use this for?"=20
The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?"=20
The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!"=20
The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart =
table.=20
The pilot asked, "What's that for?"=20
"To be honest sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost =
before you will."
=20
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"=20
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
=20
=20
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold =
short of the runway while a MD80 landed. The MD80 landed, rolled out, =
turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.
=20
Some quick-witted comedian in the MD80 crew got on the radio and =
said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"=20
=20
Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came =
back with: "I made it out of MD80 parts. Another landing like that and =
I'll have enough parts for another one."
=20
=20
Cheers
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
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<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Yes!!!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>wj</FONT></DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE dir=3Dltr=20
style=3D"PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; =
BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<DIV style=3D"FONT: 10pt arial">----- Original Message ----- </DIV>
<DIV=20
style=3D"BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4; FONT: 10pt arial; font-color: =
black"><B>From:</B>=20
<A title=3Dblacky@cbn.net.id href=3D"mailto:blacky@cbn.net.id">Byron =
Black</A>=20
</DIV>
<DIV style=3D"FONT: 10pt arial"><B>To:</B> <A=20
title=3Daustin-ghetto-list@pairlist.net=20
=
href=3D"mailto:austin-ghetto-list@pairlist.net">austin-ghetto-list@pairli=
st.net</A>=20
</DIV>
<DIV style=3D"FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Sent:</B> Friday, June 04, 2004 =
7:50 PM</DIV>
<DIV style=3D"FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Subject:</B> Plane talk - aviation =
yux</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE dir=3Dltr=20
style=3D"PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; =
BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>B-52s saw their first active duty =
in Viet=20
Nam. They are now older than some of the crews that fly them =
out of=20
Diego Garcia and other places. BUFFs they are called. =
Big Ugly=20
Fat Fellows. Incredibly piece of machinery. Right in =
there with=20
the top multi-engine designs of all time. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>[Pilot humor is =
priceless:</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 12pt"><B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">There's a story about the =
military=20
pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet =
fighter=20
was running "a bit peaked."</SPAN></B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">Air Traffic Control told =
the=20
fighter jock that he was number two behind a B-52 that had one =
engine shut=20
down.</SPAN></B><SPAN style=3D"COLOR: black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><STRONG><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">"Ah," the pilot remarked, =
"the=20
dreaded seven-engine approach."]</SPAN></STRONG><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>[Here's some more, from an =
'Aviation Jokes'=20
file I've put together:</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">A student became lost =
during a solo=20
cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on =
radar, ATC=20
asked, "What was your last known position?" <BR>Student: "When I was =
number=20
one for takeoff."</SPAN></B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </SPAN></B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: =
center"=20
align=3Dcenter><B><SPAN style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: =
Arial"><IMG=20
height=3D32 =
src=3D"cid:011b01c44b0c$be607620$0d1e6fcc@wayne8wvactdtz" width=3D32=20
v:shapes=3D"_x0000_i1026"></SPAN></B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </SPAN></B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 12pt"><B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">Taxiing down the tarmac, =
the 757=20
abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an =
hour-long=20
wait, it finally took off. </SPAN></B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 12pt"><B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">A concerned passenger =
asked the=20
flight attendant, "What was the problem?"</SPAN></B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">"The pilot was bothered =
by a noise=20
he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant," and it =
took us a=20
while to find a new pilot."</SPAN></B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: =
center"=20
align=3Dcenter><B><SPAN style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: =
Arial"><BR><IMG=20
height=3D32 src=3D"cid:007a01c44a8e$a6418620$85739eca@byro" =
width=3D32=20
v:shapes=3D"_x0000_i1025"></SPAN></B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: =
center"=20
align=3Dcenter><B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: =
Arial"><BR> </SPAN></B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 12pt"><B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">"Flight 2341, for noise =
abatement=20
turn right 45 degrees." "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much =
noise=20
can we make up here?" </SPAN></B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">"Sir, have you ever heard =
the noise=20
a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"</SPAN></B></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><B><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: =
Arial"></SPAN></B> </P><SPAN>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT =
face=3DGaramond>The=20
German air controllers at=20
<st1:place><st1:PlaceName>Frankfurt</st1:PlaceName>=20
<st1:PlaceType>Airport</st1:PlaceType></st1:place> are a =
short-tempered lot.=20
They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location but how =
to get=20
there without any assistance from them. So it was with some =
amusement that=20
we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between =
Frankfurt=20
ground control and a British Airways 747 (call sign "Speedbird 206") =
after=20
landing:<BR><BR>Speedbird 206: "Top of the morning Frankfurt, =
Speedbird 206=20
clear of the active runway."<BR><BR>Ground: "Guten Morgen! You will =
taxi to=20
your gate!"<BR><BR>The big British Airways 747 pulled onto the main =
taxiway=20
and slowed to a stop.<BR><BR>Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know =
where you=20
are going?"<BR><BR>Speedbird 206: "Stand by a moment ground, I'm =
looking up=20
our gate location now."<BR><BR>Ground: "Speedbird 206, have you =
never flown=20
to <st1:place>Frankfurt</st1:place> before?!?"<BR><BR>Speedbird 206=20
(coolly): "Yes, I have, in 1944. In another type of Boeing, but I =
didn't=20
stop."</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><o:p><FONT=20
face=3DGaramond> </FONT></o:p></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT=20
face=3DGaramond><STRONG>Subject: For Those that Fly</STRONG> =
</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><o:p><FONT=20
face=3DGaramond> </FONT></o:p></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT =
face=3DGaramond>Taxiing=20
down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and=20
<BR>returned to the gate. After a hour-long wait, it finally took =
off. <BR>A=20
concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the =
problem?"=20
<BR>"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," =
explained=20
the <BR>flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new =
pilot."=20
<BR><BR>Cessna: "Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out =
of=20
fuel." <BR>Tower: =
"<st1:PersonName><st2:GivenName>Roger</st2:GivenName>=20
<st2:Sn>Cessna</st2:Sn></st1:PersonName> 12345, reduce airspeed to =
best=20
glide!! Do you have the airfield in sight?!?!!" <BR>Cessna: =
"Uh...tower, I=20
am on the South ramp; I just want to know where the <BR>fuel truck =
is."=20
<BR><BR>A man telephoned an airline office in =
<st1:State><st1:place>New=20
York</st1:place></st1:State> and asked, "How long does <BR>it take =
to fly to=20
<st1:City><st1:place>Boston</st1:place></st1:City>?" <BR>The clerk =
said,=20
"Just a minute." <BR>"Thank you," the man said and hung up. =
<BR><BR>A man=20
walks up to the counter at the airport. "Can I help you?" asks the=20
<BR>agent. "I want a round trip ticket," says the man. "Where to?" =
asks the=20
<BR>agent. "Right back to here." <BR><BR>A passenger piled his cases =
on the=20
scale at an airline counter in <st1:State><st1:place>New=20
York</st1:place></st1:State> <BR>and said to the clerk, "I'm flying =
to=20
<st1:City><st1:place>Los Angeles</st1:place></st1:City>. I want the =
square=20
case <BR>to go to <st1:City><st1:place>Denver</st1:place></st1:City> =
and the=20
two round ones to go to Seattle." <BR>"I'm sorry, sir, but we can't =
do=20
that." <BR>"Why not? You did it last time!" <BR=20
style=3D"mso-special-character: line-break"><BR=20
style=3D"mso-special-character: line-break"></FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT =
face=3DGaramond>"Flight=20
1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."=20
<BR>"<st1:place><st1:PlaceName>But</st1:PlaceName>=20
<st1:PlaceType>Center</st1:PlaceType></st1:place>, we are at 35,000 =
feet.=20
How much noise can we make up here?" <BR>"Sir, have you ever heard =
the noise=20
a 747 makes when it hits a 727?" </FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"><FONT =
face=3DGaramond></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black"><FONT =
face=3DGaramond> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><STRONG><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">In his book, Sled Driver, =
SR-71=20
Blackbird pilot Brian Shul writes: "I'll always remember a certain =
radio=20
exchange that occurred one day as Walt (my back-seater) and I were =
screaming=20
across </SPAN><st1:place><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">Southern=20
California</SPAN></st1:place><SPAN style=3D"COLOR: black; =
FONT-FAMILY: Arial">=20
13 miles high. We were monitoring various radio transmissions from =
other=20
aircraft as we entered </SPAN><st1:City><st1:place><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">Los=20
Angeles</SPAN></st1:place></st1:City><SPAN> airspace. Though they =
didn't=20
really control us, they did monitor our movement across their =
scope. I=20
heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its ground speed. "90 knots" =
Center=20
replied. "Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same." "120 =
knots,"=20
Center answered. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></STRONG></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN><STRONG>We =
weren't the=20
only ones proud of our ground speed that day as almost instantly an =
F-18=20
smugly transmitted, 'Ah, Center, Dusty 52 requests ground speed =
readout.'=20
There was a slight pause, then the response, "525 knots on the =
ground,=20
Dusty."<o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><STRONG>"Another silent pause. As I was =
thinking=20
to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard a familiar click of =
a radio=20
transmission coming from my back-seater. It was at that precise =
moment I=20
realized </STRONG></SPAN></SPAN><STRONG><st2:GivenName><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: =
Arial">Walt</SPAN></st2:GivenName><SPAN>=20
and I had become a real crew, for we were both thinking in unison." =
"Center,=20
Aspen 20, you got a ground speed readout for us?" There was a longer =
than=20
normal pause .... "Aspen, I show 1,742 =
knots"<o:p></o:p></SPAN></STRONG></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm =
0pt"><SPAN><BR><STRONG><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-FAMILY: Arial">No further inquiries were heard on that =
frequency.</SPAN><o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal=20
style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm =
0pt"><SPAN><STRONG> <o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: =
center"=20
align=3Dcenter><SPAN><STRONG><IMG height=3D30=20
src=3D"cid:007a01c44a8e$a6418620$85739eca@byro" width=3D400=20
v:shapes=3D"_x0000_i1028"><o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal=20
style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm =
0pt"><SPAN><STRONG> <o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 12pt"><STRONG><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">In another famous SR-71 =
story,=20
</SPAN><st1:place><st1:PlaceName><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">Los=20
Angeles</SPAN></st1:PlaceName><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> =
</SPAN><st1:PlaceType><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: =
Arial">Center</SPAN></st1:PlaceType></st1:place><SPAN>=20
reported receiving a request for clearance to FL 60 (60,000ft). The=20
incredulous controller, with some disdain in his voice, asked, "How =
do you=20
plan to get up to 60,000 feet?<o:p></o:p></SPAN></STRONG></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN><STRONG>The =
pilot=20
(obviously a sled driver), responded, "We don't plan to go up to it, =
we plan=20
to go down to it." He was cleared.<o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal=20
style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm =
0pt"><SPAN><STRONG> <o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: =
center"=20
align=3Dcenter><SPAN><STRONG><IMG height=3D32=20
src=3D"cid:011c01c44b0c$be607620$0d1e6fcc@wayne8wvactdtz" width=3D32 =
v:shapes=3D"_x0000_i1025"><o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal=20
style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm =
0pt"><SPAN><STRONG> <o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN><STRONG>The =
pilot was=20
sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He placed it on =
top of=20
the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator, "Do you know =
what I use=20
this for?" <o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN><STRONG>The =
navigator=20
replied timidly, "No, what's it for?" =
<o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN><STRONG>The =
pilot=20
responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!"=20
<o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><STRONG><SPAN>The =
navigator=20
proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart table. =
<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-FAMILY: Arial">The pilot asked, "What's that for?"=20
</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style=3D"COLOR: =
black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></STRONG></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN><STRONG>"To =
be honest=20
sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost before you=20
will."<o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: =
center"=20
align=3Dcenter><SPAN><STRONG><IMG height=3D32=20
src=3D"cid:007b01c44a8e$a647a0a0$85739eca@byro" width=3D32=20
v:shapes=3D"_x0000_i1026"><o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><STRONG><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">Tower: "Delta 351, you =
have traffic=20
at </SPAN><st1:time Minute=3D"0" Hour=3D"10"><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">10=20
o'clock</SPAN></st1:time></STRONG><STRONG><SPAN>, 6 miles!" =
<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-FAMILY: Arial">Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We =
have digital=20
watches!"</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></STRONG></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal=20
style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm =
0pt"><SPAN><STRONG> <o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: =
center"=20
align=3Dcenter><SPAN><STRONG><IMG height=3D32=20
src=3D"cid:007b01c44a8e$a647a0a0$85739eca@byro" width=3D32=20
v:shapes=3D"_x0000_i1027"><o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal=20
style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm =
0pt"><SPAN><STRONG> <o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN><STRONG>One =
day the=20
pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the =
runway=20
while a MD80 landed. The MD80 landed, rolled out, turned around, and =
taxied=20
back past the Cherokee.<o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm =
0pt"><SPAN><STRONG>Some=20
quick-witted comedian in the MD80 crew got on the radio and said, =
"What a=20
cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"=20
<o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal=20
style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm =
0pt"><SPAN><STRONG> <o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN><STRONG>Our =
hero the=20
Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with: =
"I made=20
it out of MD80 parts. </STRONG> <SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><STRONG>Another landing like that and =
I'll have=20
enough parts for another one."</STRONG></SPAN></SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><o:p><FONT =
face=3DArial=20
size=3D2></FONT></o:p> </P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal=20
style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN> </P></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Cheers</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial=20
=
size=3D2>BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB</FONT></DIV></BLOCKQUOTE></BLOCKQUOTE>=
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