[AGL] forwarded to me by old friend from New York City now a divorced commercial real estate agent in Los Angeles

[Michael Eisenstadt]

Quotes from Quotable Jews...

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.  Richard Lewis

My father never lived to see his dream come true of an all-Yiddish-speaking Canada. David Steinberg

Look at Jewish history. Unrelieved lamenting would be intolerable. So, for every ten Jews beating their breasts, God designated one to be crazy and amuse the breast beaters. By the time I was five I knew I was that one. Mel Brooks

The time is at hand when the wearing of a prayer shawl and skullcap will not bar a man from the White House, unless, of course, the man is Jewish. Jules Farber

God, I know we are your chosen people, but couldn't you choose somebody else for a change? Shalom Aleichem

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. Calvin Trillin

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me. Benjamin Disraeli

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. Sam Levenson

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks. Joe E. Lewis

A spoken contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. Sam Goldwyn

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something Jackie Mason

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying. Woody Allen

Too bad that all the people who know how to run this country are busy driving taxis and cutting hair. George Burns

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen. Mort Sahl

I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth, even if it costs them their jobs. Sam Goldwyn ----------------------------- 
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