[AGL] Fwd: [FedUp] Bill Maher on HBO America

[Frances Morey]

Whew! Bill Maher almost makes it worth hooking up HBO. Thanks to the internet we have this gem from Mass.
  Frances

Dan Thibodeau <djthibodeau at comcast.net> wrote:
  To: "Fed_Up_With_Status_Quo at Yahoogroups.Com" <fed_up_with_status_quo at yahoogroups.com>,
no_right_turn at yahoogroups.com, John Lambdin <jlambdin at comcast.net>, 
"Michael Wolf (mwolf10 at austin.rr.com)" <mwolf10 at austin.rr.com>,
mollie braun <mbraun1us at yahoo.com>
From: Dan Thibodeau <djthibodeau at comcast.net>
Date: Fri, 17 Nov 2006 10:56:57 -0500
Subject: [FedUp] Bill Maher on America

Funny and timely:

"*Let's not delude ourselves into thinking that this election brought 
new thinking to Washington. It didn't. It brought Democrats, who are 
often just Republicans slowed down a step by a sense of shame."

*-Dan

BILL MAHER


A re-look-see at the Constitution

By Bill Maher | November 17, 2006

NEW RULE: When the Iraq Study Group gets done studying Iraq, it should 
study America.

*Now, I know liberals have been on a high these last 10 days, and it 
can't be the meth because that's a gay evangelical drug*. But let's 
remember that all that really happened was, Republicans went so batty 
for so long that common sense seemed like a new idea.

*Let's not delude ourselves into thinking that this election brought new 
thinking to Washington. It didn't. It brought Democrats, who are often 
just Republicans slowed down a step by a sense of shame. But they're not 
revolutionaries, and they're not really diverse.*

*Oh, Congress /looks /like America -- we've got blacks, Asians, 
Hispanics, and whatever else is in Barack Obama. But diversity of 
thought?* There's exactly one socialist, and when it comes to "faith" -- 
I bet there's not even one who wouldn't profess the greatest of piety. 
Except Nancy Pelosi, she's a freak. You know -- "San Francisco values." 
Right, like 66-year-old grandmother of five Nancy Pelosi is some raving, 
twig-eating Marxist ideologue. If only she were. If we actually had the 
occasional far left hippie in Congress to balance out all the legion of 
loonytoons on the far right -- but outside of Ralph Nader and Dennis 
Kucinich, there isn't a far left in America. Nancy Pelosi isn't going to 
try to legalize drugs or socialize hospitals or really tax gasoline or 
tell the Pentagon to cut its bloated, corrupt budget.

There's no out-of-the-box thinking in this country. If we were really 
looking for a new direction, we'd not just change Congress, we'd have 
another Constitutional Convention, as Jefferson suggested we do. 
Jefferson said: "Let us provide in our Constitution for its revision. . 
. every 19 or 20 years. . . so that it may be handed on, with periodical 
repairs, from generation to generation." He himself was saying, "I'm a 
bright guy, but even I can't foresee the iPod." Or the assault rifle.

But that's Jefferson's phrase: periodical repairs. This thing needs 
periodical repairs, but it hasn't been in the shop for 219 years. Of 
course it's belching oil. Literally. And that's because *one of the 
glaring flaws a Constitutional Convention might correct is something 
called corporate personhood, which means somewhere along the way, stupid 
or corrupted courts gave corporations all the rights of individuals, 
with none of the liability. If some person defecates on your lawn, we 
throw him in jail, but if a corporation does it, they get a tax break. 
Somehow "we the people" got to be defined as Halliburton.* This thing 
needs to go in the shop!

And I know traditionalists are saying, "But Bill, it's a sacred 
document!" Please, it's full of crap about pirates, for God's sake. And 
I don't mean the kind that copies Justin Timberlake CDs. I mean peg legs 
and parrots. "The founders were so brilliant." Yes, they were: the proof 
being, the government they designed keeps functioning even with 
cement-head doofuses like you in it.

Listen to Jefferson -- he was saying, "We're smart guys, we're not 
Nostradamus." We deal with things today no founding father could have 
imagined -- the Internet, global warming. Toilet paper, instead of bark. 
If Ben Franklin got beamed in to visit us today, the first thing he'd 
say is, "For 17 dollars, I get porn on my TV all day? How can the hotel 
afford that?" And then he'd say, "You're still using the old 
Constitution that we told you to revise? That's so nuts hemp must still 
be legal."

*How about this: You can own any gun you want, as long as it works on 
technology developed before 1787. This is what conservatives call 
"original intent,"* you can look it up. By candlelight. If Robert Blake 
wants to allegedly kill another wife, he has to use a musket. Or burn 
her at the stake, but who has the time?

And how about getting rid of the Electoral College? We don't have to 
protect the farmer in his sparse state anymore; let the votes count from 
where the people are. And besides, the farmer is now a huge corporation 
called Monsanto.

And most of all, let's take a little re-look-see at what you can be 
impeached for: starting unnecessary wars, yes; having sex, no. Which 
leads me, OK, one more request for our Constitutional Convention: *Get 
rid of the 22 d Amendment that says you can't run for president more 
than twice. That was just hatin'. If a guy can win the popular vote, he 
should be able to run, or that's not democracy -- and there's somebody 
you might call Mr. Popular named Bill Clinton, and he should be able to 
run for president in 2008. It'd be worth it, just to see him debate 
Hillary.*

Bill Maher is host of "Real Time With Bill Maher." 



 
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