Jokes for 12-10-01

Jimmydg jimmydg@att.net
Mon Dec 10 04:30:01 2001


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%%%%%%%%

 Welcome to Monday, may your week start off  wonderful..

%%%%%%%%%%

Today's websites:


Super Native song!!!
httpwww.byjoy.com/ChiefSeattle.html

%%%%%%%%%%%
http://www.cs.umbc.edu/~sli2/cube/cube.html=20
%%%%%%%%%%
The December Joynet ....... Christmas, Chanukah, recipes for both plus =
new
jokes etc etc.  Please take a peek ...... JOY

 http://www.byjoy.com/thejoynet.html

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Today's Jokes:

  This is really neat and works well, but you
  have to concentrate:
=20
=20
=20
=20
=20
  Think of a letter between A and W.
=20
=20
=20
=20
=20
=20
  Repeat it out loud as you scroll down.
  Keep going . . . Don't stop . . .
=20
=20
=20
=20
  Think of an animal that begins with that letter.
  Repeat it out loud as you scroll down.
=20
=20
=20
=20
  Think of a man's/woman's name that begins with the
  last letter in the animals name
=20
=20
=20
=20
=20
  Almost there........
=20
=20
=20
=20
=20
  Now count out the letters in that name on the
  fingers of the hand you are not using to scroll down.
=20
=20
=20
  Take the hand you counted with and hold it out in
  front of you at face level
=20
=20
=20
  Look at you palm very closely and notice the lines
  in your hand.
=20
=20
=20
  Do the lines take the form of the first letter in
  the persons name?
=20
=20
=20
=20
=20
=20
=20
  Of course not....... Now smack yourself in the head,
  get a life, and quit playing stupid e-mail games!

%%%%%%%%%%%%

 Understanding Wife........=20
=20
=20
 Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has =
told =20
him he has only 24 hours to live. Given the  prognosis, Morris asks his =
wife=20
 for sex.=20

Naturally, she agrees, so they make love.=20
=20
About 6 hrs later, Morris goes to his wife and says,=20
 "Honey, you know I now  have only 18 hrs to live. Could we please do it =
one=20
 more time?"

 Of course,  the wife agrees, and they do it again.=20

 Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his=20
 watch and realizes that he  now has only 8 hrs left. He touches his =
wife's=20
 shoulder and asks, "Honey,  please...just one more time before I die."=20

She says,  "Of course, Dear," and  they make love for the third time.=20

 After this session, the wife rolls over and falls to=20
 sleep. Morris, however,  worried about his impending death, tosses and =
turns,=20
 until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, =
I=20
 have only 4 more hours.  Do you think we could..."=20

 At this point the wife sits up and says, "Listen  Morris, I have to get =
up in=20
 the morning..... you don't."

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for
   his annual trip...but there were problems everywhere.=20
  Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee
   elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular
   ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind
   schedule.
 =20
   Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to
   visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the =
reindeer,
   he found that three of them were about to give birth
   and two had jumped the fence and were out,
   heaven knows where to. More Stress! Then when he began
   to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the
   toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
 =20
   Totally frustrated, Santa went into the house for a
   cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to
   the cupboard, he found the elves had hit the liquor
   and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he
   dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of
   little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to
   get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw
   it was made from.
 =20
   Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his
   way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with =
a
   great big Christmas tree. The angel said: "Where would
   you like to put this tree fat man?"
 =20
   And that my friend is how the little angel came to be
   on top of the Christmas tree.
 =20
  %%%%%%%%%%%%%

    was The Night Before Sexmas
    =20
     'Twas the night before Christmas, and Geez it was neat
     The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat
     The doors were all bolted, and the phone was off the hook
     It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
    =20
     Momma in her teddy, and I am in the nude
     Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube
     When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
     That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.
    =20
     Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
     Tore back the shade while she played with herself.
    =20
     The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built,
     Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.
    =20
     When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
     But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.
    =20
     With a fat little driver, half out of his sled,
     A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.
    =20
     Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite.
     And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.
    =20
     Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,
     Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.
    =20
     Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree,
     Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.
    =20
     They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub,
     Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.
    =20
     And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,
     As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.
    =20
     I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,
     When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.
    =20
     His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,
     He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.
    =20
     "That was some brothel," he said with a smile,
     "The reindeer are pooped, and I'll just stay here awhile.
    =20
     He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink,
     Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.
    =20
     I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,
     The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.
    =20
     Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,
     But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.
    =20
     The first thing he found was a pair of false tits,
     The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.
    =20
     A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find,
     And a six pair of panties, the edible kind.
    =20
     A bra without nipples, a penis extension,
     And several other things that I won't even mention.
    =20
     A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,
     A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.
    =20
     "This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit,
     So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split."
    =20
     He filled every stocking and then took his leave,
     With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.
    =20
     He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,
     Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.
    =20
     In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch,
     Saying, "Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!"
    =20
     The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout,
     "The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!"

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Today's recipe:

SPICY ROAST CHICKEN

3 to 3-1/2-pound whole chicken
1 Tablespoon olive oil
Coarsely ground black pepper
1/2 cup dry red wine
2 Tablespoons lime juice
2 Tablespoons soy sauce
1 to 2 teaspoons grated ginger root
1 to 2 teaspoons chili paste
2 to 3 garlic cloves, minced

Remove the backbone from the chicken by cutting=20
up each side of the bone with kitchen shears.=20
Flatten the chicken by pressing on the breast bone=20
with your hands. Rinse the chicken in cold water=20
and dry with paper toweling. Place the chicken skin=20
side up on a rack in a shallow roasting pan. Brush=20
with olive oil and sprinkle with pepper. Roast in=20
375-degree oven for 30 minutes.

In a small saucepan, combine wine, lime juice, soy=20
sauce, ginger, chili paste and garlic. Bring to a boil.=20
Reduce heat and boil gently, uncovered, for 15 to=20
20 minutes, or until reduced to 1/3 cup.

Baste the chicken with the sauce. Continue roasting=20
for 30 to 40 minutes, or until a drumstick moves=20
easily. Brush chicken twice with the sauce during=20
the last 10 minutes of roasting.

Makes 6 servings.

%%%%%%%%%%%%

Today's Cartoon:
My Home page:
http://www.jimmysdailygrins.com

 Tag Snagger!!

God Bless and Have a Great day !!



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<DIV><STRONG><FONT size=3D4><IMG alt=3D"" hspace=3D0=20
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<DIV><STRONG><FONT size=3D4>%%%%%%%%</FONT></STRONG></DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><FONT size=3D4></FONT></STRONG>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><FONT size=3D4>&nbsp;Welcome to Monday, may your week start =
off&nbsp;=20
wonderful..</FONT></STRONG></DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><FONT size=3D4></FONT></STRONG>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><FONT size=3D4>%%%%%%%%%%</FONT></STRONG></DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><FONT size=3D4></FONT></STRONG>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><FONT size=3D4>Today's websites:</FONT></STRONG></DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><FONT size=3D4></FONT></STRONG>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><FONT size=3D4></FONT></STRONG>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><FONT size=3D4>Super Native song!!!</FONT></STRONG></DIV>
<DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=3D#ff0000 size=3D4><FONT color=3D#ff0000><A=20
href=3D"http://www.byjoy.com/ChiefSeattle.html">http</FONT><FONT=20
color=3D#ff0000>www.byjoy.com/ChiefSeattle.h</FONT></FONT><FONT =
size=3D4><FONT=20
color=3D#ff0000>tml</FONT></A></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D4></FONT>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D4>%%%%%%%%%%%</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"Comic Sans MS" color=3D#ff0000 size=3D4><A=20
href=3D"http://www.cs.umbc.edu/~sli2/cube/cube.html">http://www.cs.umbc.e=
du/~sli2/cube/cube.html</A></FONT><FONT=20
face=3DArial color=3D#ff0000 size=3D4> </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial>%%%%%%%%%%</FONT></DIV>
<DIV>The December Joynet ....... Christmas, Chanukah, recipes for both =
plus=20
new<BR>jokes etc etc.&nbsp; Please take a peek ...... JOY<BR><BR><FONT=20
color=3D#ff0000>&nbsp;</FONT><A =
href=3D"http://www.byjoy.com/thejoynet.html"><FONT=20
color=3D#ff0000>http://www.byjoy.com/thejoynet.html</FONT></A></DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV>%%%%%%%%%%%%%%</DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV>Today's Jokes:</DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; BACKGROUND: white; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: =
Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: =
EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>This is really neat and works =
well, but=20
you<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>have to concentrate:<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Think of a letter between A and =

W.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Repeat it out loud as you =
scroll=20
down.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Keep going . . . Don't stop . . =

.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Think of an animal that begins =
with that=20
letter.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Repeat it out loud as you =
scroll=20
down.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Think of a man's/woman's name =
that begins=20
with the<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>last letter in the animals =
name<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Almost there........<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Now count out the letters in =
that name on=20
the<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>fingers of the hand you are not =
using to=20
scroll down.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN =

style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Take the hand you counted with =
and hold=20
it out in<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>front of you at face =
level<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Look at you palm very closely =
and notice=20
the lines<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>in your hand.<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Do the lines take the form of =
the first=20
letter in<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>the persons name?<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Of course not....... Now smack =
yourself=20
in the head,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>get a life, and quit playing =
stupid=20
e-mail games!</SPAN><BR></DIV>
<DIV>%%%%%%%%%%%%</DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=3D#ff0000 size=3D4></FONT>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Understanding Wife........ =
<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Morris returns from the doctor =
and tells=20
his wife that the doctor has told&nbsp;<SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"></SPAN>him he has only 24 hours to live. =
Given=20
the&nbsp;<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>prognosis, =
Morris asks his=20
wife <BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>for sex. =
</SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: =
AR-SA"></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">Naturally,=20
she agrees, so they make love.&nbsp;<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"></SPAN>About 6 hrs later, Morris goes to his =
wife and=20
says, <BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>"Honey, you =
know I=20
now&nbsp;<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>have only 18 hrs =
to live.=20
Could we please do it one <BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: =
yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>more=20
time?"</SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: =
AR-SA"></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">&nbsp;Of=20
course,&nbsp;<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>the wife =
agrees, and=20
they do it again.&nbsp;<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: =
yes"></SPAN></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Later, as the man gets into =
bed, he looks=20
at his <BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>watch and =
realizes that=20
he&nbsp;<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>now has only 8 =
hrs left. He=20
touches his wife's <BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: =
yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>shoulder and=20
asks, "Honey,&nbsp;<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: =
yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>please...just=20
one more time before I die." </SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: =
AR-SA"></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">She=20
says,&nbsp;<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>"Of course, =
Dear,"=20
and&nbsp;<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>they make love =
for the=20
third time.&nbsp;<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: =
yes"></SPAN></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>After this session, the wife =
rolls over=20
and falls to <BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>sleep. =
Morris,=20
however,&nbsp;<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>worried =
about his=20
impending death, tosses and turns, <BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>until he's down to 4 more =
hours. He taps=20
his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I <BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>have only 4 more =
hours.&nbsp;<SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Do you think we =
could..."&nbsp;<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"></SPAN></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>At this point the wife sits up =
and says,=20
"Listen&nbsp;<SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Morris, I =
have to get=20
up in <BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>the =
morning..... you=20
don't."</SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: =
AR-SA"></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: =
AR-SA">%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%</SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: =
AR-SA"></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Not long ago and far away, =
Santa was=20
getting ready for<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: =
yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>his annual trip...but<SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>there were problems everywhere. =

</SPAN></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">&nbsp;=20
Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>elves did not produce the toys =
as fast as=20
the regular<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>ones so Santa was<SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>beginning to feel the pressure =
of being=20
behind<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>schedule.<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that =
her Mom=20
was coming to<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>visit. This stressed<SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Santa even more. When he went =
to harness=20
the reindeer,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>he found that three of them =
were about to=20
give birth<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>and two had jumped the fence =
and were=20
out,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>heaven knows where to. More =
Stress! Then=20
when he began<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>to load the sleigh, one of the =
boards=20
cracked and the<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>toy bag fell to the ground and =
scattered=20
the toys.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Totally frustrated, Santa went =
into the=20
house for a<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>cup of coffee and a shot of =
whiskey. When=20
he went to<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>the cupboard, he found the =
elves had hit=20
the liquor<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>and there was nothing to drink. =
In his=20
frustration, he<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>dropped the coffee pot and it =
broke into=20
hundreds of<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>little pieces all over the =
kitchen floor.=20
He went to<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>get the broom and found that =
mice had=20
eaten the straw<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>it was made from.<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Just then the doorbell rang and =
Santa=20
cussed on his<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>way to the door. He opened the =
door and=20
there was a little angel with a<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>great big Christmas tree. The =
angel said:=20
"Where would<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>you like to put this tree fat=20
man?"<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>And that my friend is how the =
little=20
angel came to be<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN =

style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>on top of the Christmas =
tree.<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: =
yes">&nbsp;%%%%%%%%%%%%%</SPAN></SPAN></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>was The Night Before =
Sexmas<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>'Twas the night before =
Christmas, and=20
Geez it was neat<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN =

style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>The kids were both gone, and my =
wife was=20
in heat<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>The doors were all bolted, and =
the phone=20
was off the hook<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN =

style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>It was time for some nooky, by =
hook or by=20
crook.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Momma in her teddy, and I am in =
the=20
nude<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Had just hit the bedroom and =
reached for=20
the lube<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>When out on the lawn there =
arose such a=20
cry,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>That I lost my boner and poor =
momma went=20
dry.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Up to the window I sprang like =
an=20
elf,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Tore back the shade while she =
played with=20
herself.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>The moon on the crest of the =
snowman we'd=20
built,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Showed a broom up his ass, =
clean up to=20
the hilt.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>When what to my wondering eyes =
should=20
appear,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>But a rusty old sleigh and =
eight mangy=20
reindeer.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>With a fat little driver, half =
out of his=20
sled,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>A sock in his ear, and a bra on =
his=20
head.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Sure as I'm speaking, he was as =
high as a=20
kite.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>And he yelled to his team, but =
it didn't=20
sound right.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, =
whoa Stupid,=20
whoa Putz,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Either slow down this rig or =
I'll cut off=20
your nuts.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Look out for the lamp post, and =
don't hit=20
the tree,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause =
I gotta=20
go pee.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>They cleared the old lamp post, =
the tree=20
got a rub,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Just as Santa leaned out and =
threw up on=20
my shrub.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>And then from the roof we heard =
such a=20
clatter,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>As each little reindeer now =
emptied his=20
bladder.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>I was donning my jacket to =
cover my=20
ass,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>When down the chimney Santa =
came with a=20
crash.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>His suit was all smelly with =
perfume=20
galore,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>He looked like a bum and he =
smelled like=20
a whore.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>"That was some brothel," he =
said with a=20
smile,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>"The reindeer are pooped, and =
I'll just=20
stay here awhile.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: =
yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>He walked to the kitchen, =
himself poured=20
a drink,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Then whipped out his pecker and =
pissed in=20
the sink.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>I started to laugh, my wife =
smiled with=20
glee,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>The old boy was hung nearly =
down to his=20
knee.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Back in the den, Santa reached =
in his=20
sack,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>But his toys were all gone, and =
some new=20
things were packed.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: =
yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>The first thing he found was a =
pair of=20
false tits,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>The next was a handgun with a =
penis that=20
spits.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>A box filled with condoms was =
Santa's=20
next find,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>And a six pair of panties, the =
edible=20
kind.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>A bra without nipples, a penis=20
extension,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>And several other things that I =
won't=20
even mention.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>A cock ring, a G-string, and =
all types of=20
oil,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>A dildo so long, it lay in a=20
coil.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>"This stuff ain't for kids, =
Mrs. Santa=20
will shit,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>So I'll leave 'em here, and =
then I'll=20
just split."<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>He filled every stocking and =
then took=20
his leave,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>With one tiny butt plug tucked =
under his=20
sleeve.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>He sprang to his sleigh, but =
his feet=20
were like lead,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Thus he fell on his ass and =
broke wind=20
instead.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>In time he was seated, took the =
reins of=20
his hitch,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>Saying, "Take me home Rudolph, =
this=20
night's been a bitch!"<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: =
yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>The sleigh was near gone when =
we heard=20
Santa shout,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN>"The best thing about sex is =
that it=20
never wears out!"</SPAN></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: =
AR-SA"></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: =
AR-SA">%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%</SPAN></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: =
AR-SA"></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">Today's=20
recipe:</SPAN></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: =
AR-SA"></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">SPICY=20
ROAST CHICKEN<BR><BR>3 to 3-1/2-pound whole chicken<BR>1 Tablespoon =
olive=20
oil<BR>Coarsely ground black pepper<BR>1/2 cup dry red wine<BR>2 =
Tablespoons=20
lime juice<BR>2 Tablespoons soy sauce<BR>1 to 2 teaspoons grated ginger=20
root<BR>1 to 2 teaspoons chili paste<BR>2 to 3 garlic cloves,=20
minced<BR><BR>Remove the backbone from the chicken by cutting <BR>up =
each side=20
of the bone with kitchen shears. <BR>Flatten the chicken by pressing on =
the=20
breast bone <BR>with your hands. Rinse the chicken in cold water <BR>and =
dry=20
with paper toweling. Place the chicken skin <BR>side up on a rack in a =
shallow=20
roasting pan. Brush <BR>with olive oil and sprinkle with pepper. Roast =
in=20
<BR>375-degree oven for 30 minutes.<BR><BR>In a small saucepan, combine =
wine,=20
lime juice, soy <BR>sauce, ginger, chili paste and garlic. Bring to a =
boil.=20
<BR>Reduce heat and boil gently, uncovered, for 15 to <BR>20 minutes, or =
until=20
reduced to 1/3 cup.<BR><BR>Baste the chicken with the sauce. Continue =
roasting=20
<BR>for 30 to 40 minutes, or until a drumstick moves <BR>easily. Brush =
chicken=20
twice with the sauce during <BR>the last 10 minutes of =
roasting.<BR><BR>Makes 6=20
servings.<BR><BR>%%%%%%%%%%%%</SPAN></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: =
AR-SA"></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">Today's=20
Cartoon:</SPAN></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN></DIV></DIV>
<DIV>My Home page:<BR><A=20
href=3D"http://www.jimmysdailygrins.com">http://www.jimmysdailygrins.com<=
/A></DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;Tag Snagger!!</DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV>God Bless and Have a Great day !!<BR></DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><BR>---<BR>Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.<BR>Checked by AVG =

anti-virus system (<A=20
href=3D"http://www.grisoft.com">http://www.grisoft.com</A>).<BR>Version: =
6.0.306 /=20
Virus Database: 166 - Release Date: 12/4/2001</DIV></BODY></HTML>

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