Jokes for 02-28-02
Jimmydg
jimmydg@att.net
Thu Feb 28 13:26:13 2002
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Network Blitz
%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Sorry this is later, and that those of you who read first thing if the =
morning,did not get your kick off today. have had a bad headache for hte =
last 2 days and JUST did not feel it last night ..
%%%%%%%%%
http://www.spiritisup-flashcards.com/treasures.html
http://www.flowgo.com/refer/redir.cfm?page_id=3D27315&d=3D02-23-02
You need to make sure your sound is on and view this site. It is =
beautiful.
http://168.143.173.209/IWGnet.swf =20
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
The other day I was in the local auto part
store. A lady comes in and asks for a seven ten cap. We all looked =
at
each
other and said, "What's a seven ten cap?"
=20
She said "You know, it's right on the engine.
Mine got lost some how and I need a new one."
=20
"What kind of a car is it on," they asked? Now
I'm thinking maybe an old Datsun Seven Ten, but no, she said its a
Buick. "OK lady, how big is it?"
=20
She makes a circle with her hands about
3 =BD inches in diameter.
=20
"What does it do?," we asked.
=20
She said, "I don't know but its always been
there." One of us gave her a note pad and asked her if she could draw =
a
picture of it. So she makes a circle about 3 =BD inches in diameter =
and
in the center she writes 710. The guys behind the counter are
looking at it upside down
as she writes it...and they just fall down
behind the counter laughing
so hard in hysterics.
=20
One guy said " I think you want an oil cap."
=20
She said, "Seven Ten cap, oil cap, I don't care
what you call it, I just need one, and I don't see what is so damn
funny about it."
=20
Yes, she was a blonde.
Note: Read "710" upside down.
%%%%%%%%%%%%
New Drink
This guy and his girlfriend head to the local bar.
=20
The girl says she'll be happy to pick up the round
as she's heard of a new drink she wants him to try.
=20
She returns to their table and has two drinks for
him. One is a measure of Bailey's. The other full is
of lime juice.
=20
She says, "Ok, what you have to do is swig the
Bailey's, hold it in your mouth, and then chase it
with the lime juice."
=20
He looks a little dubious but does as he's told
because she's really cute when she's enthusiastic
and he noticed a gleam in her eyes.
=20
First he drinks in the Bailey's. Smooth. Creamy.
A warm feeling in his mouth. Then he chugs the lime
juice.
=20
After about a second, the cream in the Bailey's
curdles in his mouth. Two seconds into it his face
turns the color of fresh lime juice. Three seconds
and he's finally able to calm his stomach enough to
swallow the mess.
=20
As he makes a face, she whispers sweetly in his ear,
"It's called 'Blowjob Revenge'."
%%%%%%%%%%
Aer Lingus Flight 101 was flying from Heathrow to Dublin one night,
with Paddy the Pilot, and Shamus the co-pilot. As they approached =
Dublin
airport, they looked out the front window. "B'jeesus" said Paddy "Will
ye look at how fookin short dat runway is".
=20
You're not fookin kiddin, Paddy" replied Shamus.
=20
"Dis is gonna be one a' de trickiest landings you're ever gonna see"
said Paddy.
=20
"You're not fookin kiddin, Paddy" replied Shamus.
=20
"Right Shamus. When I give de signal, you put de engines in reverse"
said Paddy.
=20
"Right, I'll be doing dat" replied Shamus.
=20
"And den ye put de flaps down straight away" said Paddy
=20
"Right, I'll be doing dat" replied Shamus.
=20
"And den ye stamp on dem brakes as hard as ye can" said Paddy
=20
"Right, I'll be doing dat" replied Shamus.
=20
"And den ye pray to de Mother Mary with all a' your soul" said Paddy
=20
"I be doing dat already" replied Shamus.
=20
So they approached the runway with Paddy and Shamus full of nerves =
and
sweaty palms. As soon as the wheels hit the ground, Shamus put the
engines in reverse, put the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and =
prayed
to Mother Mary with all of his soul. Amidst roaring engines, =
squealing
of tyres and lots of smoke, the plane screeched to a halt centimetres
from the end of the runway, much to the relief of Paddy and Shamus and
everyone on board.
=20
As they sat in the cockpit regaining their composure, Paddy looked =
out
the front window and said to Shamus "Dat has gotta be de shortest =
fookin
runway I have EVER seen in me whole life".
=20
Shamus looked out the side window and replied.... "Yeah Paddy, but
look how fookin wide it is".
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
herbed meatloaf
one T
olive oil
one C
mushrooms, finely chopped
1/2 C
onion, finely chopped
1/4 C
carrots, finely chopped
1/4 C
celery, finely chopped
1/4 C
green pepper, finely chopped
one lb
ground sirloin
1 1/2 oz
quick cooking oats
one
egg
2 T
no salt added tomato paste
4 oz
no salt added tomato sauce
one T
Worcestershire sauce
4 cloves
garlic, minced
1/2 t
dried rosemary, crushed
1/2 t dried thyme leaves one serrano or habenero pepper, minced to taste =
freshly ground black pepper
Preheat oven to 350=B0. Heat oil in large skillet. Saute mushrooms, =
onion, carrot, celery, jalapeno and green pepper until soft. Add garlic =
and saute one minute more.
In large mixing bowl, combine beef, oats, 2 T tomato paste, egg,=20
Worcestershire sauce, rosemary, thyme and pepper. Add vegetable mixture=20
from skillet and combine thoroughly. Put mixture in loaf pan.
Bake one hour, basting with 4 oz tomato sauce after 30 minutes. Let =
stand 10 minutes before slicing. Eight servings
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<DIV>%%%%%%%%%%%%%</DIV>
<DIV>Sorry this is later, and that those of you who read first thing if =
the=20
morning,did not get your kick off today. have had a bad headache for hte =
last 2=20
days and JUST did not feel it last night ..</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>%%%%%%%%%
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2><A=20
href=3D"http://www.spiritisup-flashcards.com/treasures.html">http://www.s=
piritisup-flashcards.com/treasures.html</A></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><A=20
href=3D"http://www.flowgo.com/refer/redir.cfm?page_id=3D27315&d=3D02-=
23-02">http://www.flowgo.com/refer/redir.cfm?page_id=3D27315&d=3D02-2=
3-02</A></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2>You need to make sure your sound is on and view this =
site. It is beautiful.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"Comic Sans MS" size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2><A=20
href=3D"http://168.143.173.209/IWGnet.swf">http://168.143.173.209/IWGnet.=
swf</A><FONT=20
size=3D2> </FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"Comic Sans MS" size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"Comic Sans MS" size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"Comic Sans MS">%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"Comic Sans MS"></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><BR><FONT =
size=3D3><FONT=20
color=3D#000000><FONT face=3D"Times New Roman"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>The other =
day I was in=20
the local auto part<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> =20
</SPAN>store. A lady comes in and asks for a seven ten cap. =
We all=20
looked at<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> =
</SPAN>each<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>other and said, "What's =
a seven=20
ten cap?"<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>She said =
"You know,=20
it's right on the engine.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: =
yes"> =20
</SPAN>Mine got lost some how and I need a new one."<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>"What kind =
of a car is=20
it on," they asked? Now<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: =
yes"> =20
</SPAN>I'm thinking maybe an old Datsun Seven Ten, but no, she said its=20
a<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Buick. "OK =
lady, how=20
big is it?"<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>She makes a circle with her =
hands=20
about<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>3 =BD =
inches in=20
diameter.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>"What does it do?," we =
asked.<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>She said, "I =
don't=20
know but its always been<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: =
yes"> =20
</SPAN>there." One of us gave her a note pad and asked her if she could =
draw=20
a<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>picture of =
it. So she=20
makes a circle about 3 =BD inches in diameter and<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>in the center she writes =
710. The guys behind the counter are<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>looking at it upside =
down<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>as she =
writes it...and=20
they just fall down<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> =20
</SPAN>behind the counter laughing<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>so hard in=20
hysterics.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>One guy said " I think you =
want an oil=20
cap."<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>She said, =
"Seven Ten=20
cap, oil cap, I don't care<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: =
yes"> =20
</SPAN>what you call it, I just need one, and I don't see what is so=20
damn<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>funny =
about=20
it."<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Yes, she was a =
blonde.<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Note: =
Read "710"=20
upside down.</FONT></FONT></FONT><BR=20
style=3D"mso-special-character: line-break"><BR=20
style=3D"mso-special-character: line-break">%%%%%%%%%%%%</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"> </P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT=20
color=3D#000000>New Drink<BR><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>This guy and his girlfriend =
head to the=20
local bar.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>The girl says she'll be happy =
to pick up=20
the round<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>as she's heard of a new drink =
she wants=20
him to try.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>She returns to their table and =
has two=20
drinks for<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>him. One is a measure of =
Bailey's. The=20
other full is<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>of lime juice.<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>She says, "Ok, what you have to =
do is=20
swig the<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Bailey's, hold it in your =
mouth, and then=20
chase it<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>with the lime juice."<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>He looks a little dubious but =
does as=20
he's told<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>because she's really cute when =
she's=20
enthusiastic<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>and he noticed a gleam in her=20
eyes.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>First he drinks in the =
Bailey's. Smooth.=20
Creamy.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>A warm feeling in his mouth. =
Then he=20
chugs the lime<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>juice.<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>After about a second, the cream =
in the=20
Bailey's<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>curdles in his mouth. Two =
seconds into it=20
his face<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>turns the color of fresh lime =
juice.=20
Three seconds<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>and he's finally able to calm =
his stomach=20
enough to<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>swallow the mess.<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>As he makes a face, she =
whispers sweetly=20
in his ear,<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>"It's called 'Blowjob=20
Revenge'."</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT=20
color=3D#000000></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT=20
color=3D#000000>%%%%%%%%%%</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT=20
color=3D#000000></FONT></SPAN> </P><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; =
mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; =
mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">
<DIV=20
style=3D"BORDER-RIGHT: medium none; PADDING-RIGHT: 0in; BORDER-TOP: =
medium none; PADDING-LEFT: 4pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; BORDER-LEFT: black =
1.5pt solid; PADDING-TOP: 0in; BORDER-BOTTOM: medium none">
<P class=3DMsoNormal=20
style=3D"BORDER-RIGHT: medium none; PADDING-RIGHT: 0in; BORDER-TOP: =
medium none; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt =
3.75pt; BORDER-LEFT: medium none; PADDING-TOP: 0in; BORDER-BOTTOM: =
medium none; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; =
mso-border-left-alt: solid black 1.5pt; mso-padding-alt: 0in 0in 0in =
4.0pt"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"><FONT =
color=3D#000000>Aer Lingus=20
Flight 101 was flying from Heathrow to Dublin one night,<BR>with Paddy =
the=20
Pilot, and Shamus the co-pilot. As they approached Dublin<BR><SPAN =
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>airport, they looked out the =
front=20
window. "B'jeesus" said Paddy "Will<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>ye <SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>look at how fookin short dat =
runway=20
is".<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>You're not fookin kiddin, =
Paddy" replied=20
Shamus.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>"Dis is gonna be one a' de =
trickiest=20
landings you're ever gonna see"<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>said Paddy.<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>"You're not fookin kiddin, =
Paddy" replied=20
Shamus.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>"Right Shamus. When I give de =
signal, you=20
put de engines in reverse"<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: =
yes"> </SPAN>said=20
Paddy.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>"Right, I'll be doing dat" =
replied=20
Shamus.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>"And den ye put de flaps down =
straight=20
away" said Paddy<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN =
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>"Right, I'll be doing dat" =
replied=20
Shamus.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>"And den ye stamp on dem brakes =
as hard=20
as ye can" said Paddy<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: =
yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>"Right, I'll be doing dat" =
replied=20
Shamus.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>"And den ye pray to de Mother =
Mary with=20
all a' your soul" said Paddy<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>"I be doing dat already" =
replied=20
Shamus.<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>So they approached the runway =
with Paddy=20
and Shamus full of nerves and<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>sweaty palms. As soon as the =
wheels hit=20
the ground, Shamus put the<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>engines in reverse, put the =
flaps down,=20
stamped on the brakes and prayed<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>to Mother Mary with all of his =
soul.=20
Amidst roaring engines, squealing<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>of tyres and lots of smoke, the =
plane=20
screeched to a halt centimetres<BR>from the end of the runway, much to =
the=20
relief of Paddy and Shamus and<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>everyone on board.<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>As they sat in the cockpit =
regaining=20
their composure, Paddy looked out<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>the <SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>front window and said to Shamus =
"Dat has=20
gotta be de shortest fookin<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>runway I have EVER seen in me =
whole=20
life".<BR><SPAN style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Shamus looked out the side =
window and=20
replied.... "Yeah Paddy, but<BR>look how fookin wide it is".<BR><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: =
yes"> %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%</SPAN></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal=20
style=3D"BORDER-RIGHT: medium none; PADDING-RIGHT: 0in; BORDER-TOP: =
medium none; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt =
3.75pt; BORDER-LEFT: medium none; PADDING-TOP: 0in; BORDER-BOTTOM: =
medium none; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; =
mso-border-left-alt: solid black 1.5pt; mso-padding-alt: 0in 0in 0in =
4.0pt"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"><FONT =
color=3D#000000><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"></SPAN></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal=20
style=3D"BORDER-RIGHT: medium none; PADDING-RIGHT: 0in; BORDER-TOP: =
medium none; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt =
3.75pt; BORDER-LEFT: medium none; PADDING-TOP: 0in; BORDER-BOTTOM: =
medium none; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; =
mso-border-left-alt: solid black 1.5pt; mso-padding-alt: 0in 0in 0in =
4.0pt"><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"><FONT =
color=3D#000000><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes"><FONT face=3D"Courier New" size=3D3>herbed =
meatloaf<BR>one=20
T<BR>olive oil<BR><BR>one C<BR>mushrooms, finely chopped<BR><BR>1/2 =
C<BR>onion,=20
finely chopped<BR><BR>1/4 C<BR>carrots, finely chopped<BR><BR>1/4 =
C<BR>celery,=20
finely chopped<BR><BR>1/4 C<BR>green pepper, finely chopped<BR><BR>one=20
lb<BR>ground sirloin<BR><BR>1 1/2 oz<BR>quick cooking=20
oats<BR><BR>one<BR>egg<BR><BR>2 T<BR>no salt added tomato paste<BR><BR>4 =
oz<BR>no salt added tomato sauce<BR><BR>one T<BR>Worcestershire =
sauce<BR><BR>4=20
cloves<BR>garlic, minced<BR><BR>1/2 t<BR>dried rosemary, =
crushed<BR><BR>1/2 t=20
dried thyme leaves one serrano or habenero pepper, minced to taste =
freshly=20
ground black pepper<BR><BR><BR>Preheat oven to 350=B0. Heat oil in large =
skillet.=20
Saute mushrooms, onion, carrot, celery, jalapeno and green pepper until =
soft.=20
Add garlic and saute one minute more.<BR><BR>In large mixing bowl, =
combine beef,=20
oats, 2 T tomato paste, egg, <BR>Worcestershire sauce, rosemary, thyme =
and=20
pepper. Add vegetable mixture <BR>from skillet and combine =
thoroughly. Put=20
mixture in loaf pan.<BR><BR><BR>Bake one hour, basting with 4 oz tomato =
sauce=20
after 30 minutes. Let stand 10 minutes before slicing. Eight=20
servings</FONT><BR><BR><BR></SPAN></FONT><?xml:namespace prefix =3D o ns =
=3D=20
"urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office"=20
/><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P></DIV></SPAN></DIV></DIV></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<P></P></BODY></HTML>
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